The Journal, Her Thoughts, My Life

everything is going for a break for now..

the BIG EXAMS are less than one month away and i have not even started on revision..

OH MAN!




EXAMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

oh well now, i am deem as a person that had chase their precious SL away, i have been the one that not to talk to her which make her feel very unhappy at work and had no choice to leave because I DRIVE HER AWAY! oh well oh, wad a joke?!



i dont talk to her cus i feel

number 1, i had nothing personal to talk to her about. i can have a choice but i just dun wish / dun want  to talk/gossip/laugh/joke to her on anything that i could easily tell the issue to anybody. reason being, i feel there is no need to and i feel that we are of a different frequency and i JUST DONT WISH TO. cant i have this little human right for myself?

number 2, in terms of work related stuff, i had no message to pass to her. i am just a small little fry in the store and she is the SL. even if there is instructions/notices/annoucement to follow, i will not know it first hand and to have the need to tell her. instead, she will know the first hand news and need to pass it to me. but she call the store, ask for the other person working even though i pick up the phone, and choose to pass the message to me so indirectly. excuse me, who is not talking to who, who is the one that is being rude. and this does not only happen once, but many. and if she were to talk to me, will i ever just turn around and just walk away when she is talking to me? obviously not , cus i am not a rude person, like HELLO?!


wow, so now, when you resign and choose to leave, everyone see it as, you dun enjoy working cus the girls are mean to you, nobody is talking to you, everybody is boycotting you. but have you ever thought of the reason being? why and wad was the reason when everything started at first?

ok, there is no point to pin-point finger on whose fault it is now. the point being, when there is a problem, do we just leave you to clear the shit ALONE and ignore you or did we clear the problem for you and you just stand aside and watch helplessly. like yes, you are there when a problem occur, but did you solve the problem or did you solve it yourself. and if we helped you, please stop going around and make it seems like we bully you the whole big time and leave you to die.. CUS WE DID HELPED YOU ..




everybody, EVERYBODY see it as my motive had suceeded, i had successfully drive her way. so i need to pick up wadever things she used to do, cake class, party, lousy timing shift, cus i, yes me, drive her away.




after all the things that i helped her, clearing wadever nosenses that she had created, having tolerated everything things she had done, the conclusion end up to be: i chase her away cus i never make an effort to talk to her. 


oh well oh.. speechless..

here are some thoughts in my mind for the past weeks..

in about one month time, i will be sitting for another round of exam and i will be free for the next 2.5 months. but in order to earn that 2.5 month of carefree living, i know the next one month for me will be a torture! i think i will hang around my favourite place : the school library and be a bookworm for one month.

yesterday in lecture, we talked about going overseas STRAIGHT after exam.. and its STRAIGHT. meaning, after the last paper, go home and put down pen and books, take luggage and leave for airport! ok, the idea sounds a bit kan chiong.. maybe one or two days later will be good.. =)

but again, where does the money come from? bookworm = no work = no money. =(

sometimes i miss working as much as how much i dont feel like working.. i miss working people that is fun, singing with the music when everyone thinks something is wrong with me. yet again, these opportunity are not always avaliable and  things will not be as fine as how i imagine it to be. something is lacking at work which i have not figure out wad is it yet. =(

i still have the last assignment to go.. which is so long and ever-lasting.. after doing so much for it, it's STILL NOT COMPLETE!

i feel that everything around me are having expectation on me.. be it, family, work, friends.. and these expectations are really putting weights on me which sometimes i feel will be a chores to even take one step front. but i know this one step effort which i make will create happiness for many. yet again, i will be living MY LIFE on the expense of others. so is either, being selfish and do wad i want and upset the rest OR upset myself and have everyone happy around me. maybe i just feel the taken-me-for-granted type of feeling which made me feel less appreciated. ok, maybe its just PMS.

nevertheless, i still enjoy my everyday and i do have moments when i laugh like a mad woman on unexpected events.

maybe its just the expectations that everybody is having on everybody which had made everybody less happy.

YES, CORRECT!

things had been very busy.. until sometime i do not know what i am doing.. work is no longer fun, sch is not longer something that i will energetically looking forward to.. tution kids are no longer cute and are rather irritating.. i felt rather tired to wake up everyday and hope that i had more time.

week after week, i will be trying to finish whatever is near the dateline, test project test project.. week by week it will follows.. after when finally i see my schedule book, looking forward to the date where all my test and project are done and i thought i could breath a little slower, guess what, 2 weeks later, it will be exam! it's like still a long way to go..

work is only a place to work and go off.. it used to be going to work cus I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU! but now, everyone is working cus 1) i need to work, 2) i need the money, 3) rachel need people to fill the slots.. after shift on the dot is goodbye.. really miss the days when people will come early and leave late and even lost track of the time cause we have so much to talk about. ok, now the girls are still fine. maybe everyone is busy with things and there is no time for us to catch up, or there is just too much thing on our mind which we forgot to talk. or maybe, we just cant find a common slot to work together, and even if there is, we may not be able to work together.

oh man life, can you please be a little better?

okok, time for some update before everyone starts missing me! =)

ok, things that had happened recently:

i took up tennis lessons from CC and i love it to the max and was thinking of joining the sch tennis team.. i used to be in the sch tennis team when i was in my poly.. but due to certain reason, which i thought it was more important at THAT time, i quit it and this is something that i regret it very much, very very much.. so, i think after my tennis lesson from CC, i am going to join the sch one AGAIN!! =)

work is fun with some people and irritating with some people.. i shall not elaborate much in case people print screen my live journal as evidence and i will be like sooooooooooooooo dead! but out of the 3 years that i have work, she had irritate me the most man.. but, i will still look forward to work with the people that i love, and of course, they love me too! =)  (ok lah, maybe i think too much)

sch is fine, but i think this semester will be a busy one.. so far, the lecturers are quite funny.. my new project team is quite ok i think.. but the projects i feel will be quite difficult.. oh man, but i still enjoy sch very much! =)

tutions kids are ok and PSLE is coming!!



there are many birthday party to go to this weekend!!!

result are out.. i think is acceptable but not good.. but nevermind, i will try harder next sem.. :D



school is starting soon and i have not completed things in my 'to-do' list..
OH MAN!

results will be out tomorrow!!!!


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!



i know praying is like hopeless now.. oh man, my shift starts at 130pm..


should i bring my laptop to check at 2pm sharp or just live in denial til i get home at the end of the day?



:S

it takes me 1 hours plus to drive from pasir ris to my home carpark..

no, it's not the traffic cus it's 11pm..


ok, it's me larhhhh.. i know i am driving too slowly.. my brother even say that i should take MRT back home, maybe i will reach home earlier.. it makes sense as the MRT to my station it's only 45 min..

another reason why i should take train is, i cannot park the car.. i park like 5 times at the carpark.. thanks goddness there is nobody already to laugh at me :O


-_-




don't laugh at me ok!

i reall hate working opening and had to go home in the evening time by train.. cus the experience is really disgusting.. :S i think in one cabin itself, i can see less than 10 singaporean i feel.. but, the train is very packed.. so, the rest of the ratio of people are made up of you know who.. and i feel that it is so disturbed because :

1) they will raise both of their hands up and reach for whatever things that will keep them steady
2) they smell like that had drink ten thousand bottles of beer
3) they will stand like super near to you and sometimes you can even feel their breath

WA LAO! 

today i was on my way back.. then i got a seat so i just sit down and at one stop, THEY came in to the train in a flock and they all protraited the traits that i had listed above. but i wad like thinking that thank goddness i got a sit and i dun need to stand in between them.. but then, there is this one man that stand in front of me and leaning forward, his knee and my knee distance was like so near when i already tried to sit back.. then his tummy was like so big that was right in front of my face.. so near can, was like less that 15 cm.. i was like so pissed that my face was like totally black throughout the journy..

CANNOT TAHAN!

like a lot of times already.. sometimes are even worst.

who had the same experienced raise up your hand please!!

i think i am not a person who can sleep late.. if i were to sleep at 1am, the next day i will be super duper tired.. ok, i am not exagerating.. but its the truth.. so, dun talk to me on msn after 11pm to that i can go sleep ok.. haha!

tml i will be working the whole day.. oh man, i didnt know why did i go and accept the replacement in the first place.. something must be wrong with me at that moment of time..

come to think of it, i will be a little richer next month.. =)

hello everybody..

it's holiday time after exam.. which will be all the way to july i think.. about 2 plus months..

holiday should be sometime that everybody long waited for moment.. but i think everyone end up in doing nothing and staying at home and bored to death.. i think i had broke my own record of staying at home for days.. for the past holiday that i have, i seldom have time for home.. i am always out, working or hanging out with friends.. but now, i would prefer to stay at home instead of calling everyone up to go shopping..

i feel that its werid.. like sometimes, i would rather stay at home for days than ringing up anyone of my friends for lunch or dinner.. i think i am getting old and prefered to stay home.. =)

but i wouldnt mind if someone calls me and ask me out.. :D


Some random facts!!

number one:
i sudden recall that the last movie that i have watched is marley and me.. which i feel its a bit boring.. many nice shows are coming up.. quite excited about it.. but like nobody want to watch with me leh.. =(

number two:
i went prawning with my sibling over the weekend and guess how many prawns i caught?

2!!

number three:
my father went gym with me and he claims that he did all the machine in the gym when i jogging on the machine.

number four:
stef is coming back soon!!!

number five:
i need more colors of finger nails polish. i have a few bottles of red and no other colors.




ok.. that's all for now.. =)

besides JUST studying.. i still manage to go KBOX, my JT band reunion dinner..

and i begin to like the feeling of staying in the library for the whole day..
i wonder if i will miss going to the library after exam.. haha!








and i actually miss working at bnj!!!
i miss laughing like nobody business,
i miss talking loudly like nobody business,
i miss nag like nobody business,
i miss take picture like nobody business,
i miss going cold storage to buy banana and strawberries.. haha!

and of course i miss the girls.. =)
my godness..

first day of the week.. means that i need to start studying already..

from now til exam day, no working in bnj's, no shopping, no hanging out for nothing, no wasting time on sleeping (although i wish to)

=(
=(
=(

but i feel that there may be a little time left for me to watch one or two movie..


=)



last paper fall on free cone day..
so i am looking very forward to free cone day!!! =)






school library will be my favourite place for now..

projects are all done and it cost me 4 nights of 4am.. and finally, it's done..

it's the last week of sch and it's time to mug for exams which are 2 weeks later.. i haven even not yet study for any thing.. i need to stop working and get started with it.. i want HD HD HD!!!








there are many movie coming up and it seems nice..

and it's always during exam period!!!!

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

i think nowadays it's getting more and more tired to live.. not that i will jump down the building or what la.. but just stressful..
i am living in the times where project date line are once every 2 days.. so stressful.. but thanks goddness i had some fun team mates.. not the whole team..

tml is the bnj kids carnival.. like so fun.. dunno what will be happening.. like i am suppose to go work but i dunno what must i do.. but i think it would be fun..






=)

because of the projects projects and projects,
i haven been going jogging for like 1 week..

cus i have been stay up late to do work and i could not wake up and have the energy to jog..

so who is going to be responsible if i put on some weigh??!!!




anyway, i think my team tml will have a big fight among the boys.. apparently, they are already fighting in emails..

AHHHHHHHH!!!

and if i say , it's none of my business,
john would say, you sure will be in the story..





dead.

if you want to change a person, you must create a crisis for him/her
true?














very true.

projects are due like in a week time.. yet some of my team people are still like not getting work done fast enough.. 

i need to go to the extend of clearing all the undone part for each projects which is some other people work. so when the some other people knows that i am doing a little on his parts, instead of feeling gulity, he still want to push more of his work for me to finish..  


i have already so much work to be done..

there is always like excuses like why cant they finish work..

i am working ALWAYS in ben and jerrys and having 2 tution kids to teach ALWAYS.. what makes it seems like i have time to finish my work then.. 

if your case is that you are not feeling well, then what makes it looks like i am feeling very well.. 

and there is always someone who will be over anxious about the project progress of everybody and put his anxiety on me..

i feel as though i AM a superwoman












i am not a super woman ok..

having a very bad headache and sore throat.. i think i am sick again... =(

today had my financial planning test. everything was ok, but the last question i totally dunno the answer.. my god.. =(

something that is very random, after i completed my paper and waiting for the time to pass, i suddenly feel like eating vanilla ice cream with hundreds and thousand topping.. *dun ask me why!*




and for tml tution, i am going to teach CHINESE! i have never 'touch' chinese ever since 'o' level.. i dunno how many words can i still remember.. :S


assignments will be due in less than 2 weeks!!!!!